Thoughts over coffe and e-mails that change thought patterns.

Its been a long time since my last post. I was so busy with the LA Fitness job that I hardly checked e-mail for 6 months. For those who don't know yet, I quit that job for something that takes up less of my time. I was quite good at high pressure sales and the money was awesome but, the hours being put into it didn't really allow me to have much of a life. I have a job already lined up to replace the last one but I have to say, I am once again plagued by the the pain of not being able to make a decent living by teaching martial arts of some sort. Its not that I cant do other things, but I have spent a lifetime developing an education in martial arts and I suffer a great deal of inner rage that I cant bring home a decent and consistent paycheck by teaching it. Some days it leaves me bitter and irate inside. 

I got an e-mail from a man I did jujutsu with 20 years ago. He has watched my video and says that I reinvigorated his martial spirit. He is a policeman and due to my inffluence is now an avid and competitive grappler and MMA enthusiast. I was floored by the e-mail for a good 24 hours.  His mail is the payoff I cant get in other jobs. I recalled that he is not the only person to tell me that I influenced them. Teaching effects lives, simple as that. Teaching changes and guides the world into the future. Teaching has an effect and efficacy is my guide in life. Science and martial arts are my two passions. They are my body and my mind. Being able to spread one of those and encourage the pursuit of both in the world makes me feel proud, fulfilled...immortal.

I have lost my way. It is time I find a better map.