Gym Wars Episode 1

All seems well in the Gym Republic and 1000 years of peace has made gym owners quiet and docile. Little do the members of the board of directors know, they have hired a Sith as a lowly assistant manager. As Darth Shanious begins his rise to power, a dark shadow looms across the aerobics room floor. Darth Shanious has chosen his boss as a new disciple and has broken his will with promises of power that only studying MMA will bring him. Tormented by temptation, the General Manager slowly gives in to Darth Shanious's influence.

"Yes, yes my young apprentice. Soon we shall unseat the Board of Directors and you shall join at my side as Supreme Chancellor of the first Fitness Empire."

"Yes, my master"

"First you shall recommend ME as your weekend General manager and introduce me to our District Leader. From there I will twist the minds of those above us so that we can take our places in their stead."

"Of course Master. But Master, what if the gym sales faultier?"

"Oh, do not worry, my young apprentice. I assure you, when the time comes, the full power of this fitness station will be quite operational"

Well, its been two weeks since I have had time to take a breath and write a blog post. My job at LA Fitness is going very well and I am already being promoted. I am acting General manager for weekends and if all goes well I will be the Official Weekend GM by next week or so. I have been spoken to my the regional director and he says he would like to "fast track" me into a GM spot in my own club by January. All this is very good because money at the bottem where I am now is all sales dependant and I have to bust ass and hussle all day long to make a paycheck. I would much rather have a group of minions to boss about and make sure they hussle me up a paycheck. That would be a lot more like a video game class that I would play. Sorta like a Necro with 4 or 5 minions.

As most of you should now know I got the G-phone. My only comment on that is that is is the most super awesome wicked cool bitchin phone to EVER touch the hand of mortal man since the cell-phone gods first handed down their grace upon America. Amen.

No pictures today. I am too tired to search for anything of merit. Ok...hold on.

There, a pic of my new phone. Thats all I got in me.

Training day

Well, I am tired and it is late and thus I will not be writing a lot. But for those who want to hear about training for the new job, I give you an official post.

First, when I got to work I found out that the guy who hired me was "moved" away to another location on short notice. I later learned that all the crew who had been there before got the same move. It seems they had some productivity issues and needed to start fresh. Thus the guy who wanted to work out and do MMA with me for an hour each day no longer exists.

As for the job training itself, I think an analogy would best sum up its merits. Imagine you wanted raise a great athletic swimmer. The method best used to teach a man to swim seems to be to throw puppies into a lake and then shoot all the ones who make it to shore. Take the drown corpses of dead puppies and dissect them and then use the parts to sew a man out of the pieces. Voila'! a sales person is born.

New Job

EMPLOYMENT at last!

Yesterday I got a call to come in and interview at LA Fitness. I had filled out an app there for a front desk job because, I asked and that's what they said they were hiring at the moment. When I arrived the guy asked me if I would be interested in a different job. When I said," Yes of course" he told me he would hire me as an assistant manager on the sales floor. Basically a sales person with a nice tittle. I will be giving everyone their first personal training session and helping them to set some goals and then sell them some personal training sessions. I told him it sounded like a great fit and that I was interested in the job. Then he said that he said he had seen my app at the front desk and jerked it out of the pile before anyone else could look at it. "Really?", I said. Then I get to the meat of why I was hired.

"I saw that you are a MMA coach" he says. It seems he once went to Elite Combat Sports and still wants to train to be a MMA fighter. He has a great stand up coach who comes to LA Fitness on his break and works with him on striking. As soon as I told him that my strong area was clinching and take-downs and that I would love to join them, I suddenly felt like the job interview was over and I was hired. Before I knew it we had filled out all the papers and I was in. I officially start Monday.

You just never know whats around the corner or what little piece of information is going to take you to your next experiential bus stop. I am really looking forward to this job. The hours and the pay seem great and I will get to workout and do MMA every day. I am not sure I could have asked for more. I have said it before, I will say it again, I live a charmed life.

OMG SHOES!

OK, so not really shoes. But anyone who has seen the omg shoes video now knows the obsession I am about to spill forth in utter techno-geek glory.

The Kindle is HERE!

I SO need one of these. I am so geeking out right now that I cant even blog about it so I will just give a pic and a link and let you all read and geek out with me.

http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000FI73MA/?tag=googhydr-20&hvadid=2192951021&ref=pd_sl_20wgx685w_b

Wireless, instant access to every book in the WORLD! (well, not every, but a lot) OMG SHOES!

DEJECTED

That's right boys and girls. Uncle Shannon is in the house and after many rum and cokes I am ready for a little drinking and blogging.

It seems I will NOT be a Sheriff nor shall I be a detention officer. You see, I made the horrid mistake of telling the truth. (Go back and refer to Shannon's Maxims for why) Yes, once upon a time , like 20 fucking years ago, I did a good deal of LSD and yes I am still unrepentant of it. Due to this atrocious act of my youth I am not qualified to watch over the prisoners of the state who sit with no rehabilitation in sight. I am not worthy of being the guardian of mans bastion of moral fortitude NOR am I worthy of being a real paid professional hero. You see, I am unclean. Like a demonically possessed house or a sewage tunnel unkempt by city workers. To this I say...very well. I am neither the best nor the brightest, which is what they are after. I suppose I knew that already.

I ask no repentance for my past. I have no regrets for MY actions. At least now I know where I stand. Unworthy.

So, there. Fuck um.

Update

So my new job pursuits this week include the sheriff's department and detention officer. Somewhere out there is a job in need of a person doing it. Maybe if I can get into a steady gov job I can be on a SWAT team or train academy boys in H2H.

Trish and I went for a jog this weekend and worked out at the park. It was the most fun I have had since our dance party. Speaking of dance parties...



Paula came to see us last week and boogied with us at the dance party. Here are some pics of her.



We miss her already.


I will post pics of us all dancing but I warn you, with the flash of the camera cancelling out the strobe lights it sorta looks like a bunch of people in a living room pretending to be mannequins. Try to imagine that its dark with loud music and flickering lights.

Odd looking but I actually look a little odd when I dance anyway so it really all the same I guess.

Lastly, I plan to buy the new G1 phone with the google android software on it. I am a little excited about that coming out. The video reviews look pretty cool.